Nobody’s Perfect

Summer is drawing to an end. As always, there’s been lots of weddings, not the least my own. And weddings are, like almost no other occasions, an opportunity to talk up someone (usually the bride, secondly the groom). There is no end to all the good deeds, traits, looks, experiences, or karma of the main person of the day. Nobody wanting come short, everyone tries to surpass each other in sucking up to… ahem, celebrating that particular couple. Which is all fine and well… if it were all true, that is.

The sad fact is, that while we may be happy on our wedding day, we are no more perfect than the day before. We still have our bad habits, our bad manners, our bad tempers, our bad hair days, and our bad breath. We honestly don’t believe all those compliments given in the mood of celebration.

Depending on how close we feel to the person of honour, we may choose to believe some of it. After all, a certain degree of affection does usually make us see everything in a better light. If not (or if we’re just in a cynical mood), we’re filled with an urge to lift the veil on the kind words and show them for the bull that they really are.

We should be nice to people. There’s no need to flash other peoples’ faults in their face. And I’m happy that nobody did that to me at my wedding. But seriously, guys, we’re not all that great people, any of us. So why keep on pretending? Weddings can be fun, especially dressing up and eating delicious food. But to be honest, I’m glad it’s over for now.

Declaration of Dependence

In CAIRNS, September 5, 2008.

When in the course of human Events, it becomes necessary for one Person to ensure the Bands which have connected him with another, a decent Respect to the Opinions of that Special Someone requires that he should declare the causes which impel him to the Unification.

I hold these Truths to be self-evident, that Men and Women are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.

That it is not good for Man to be alone. For this reason a Man will leave his Father and Mother and be united with his Wife, and they will become One Flesh.

I, therefore, solemnly Publish and Declare, that Katrine and I are destined for each other, and that she has accepted my Request for her hand in Marriage. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm Reliance on the Protection of the divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

Two Worlds Apart

When I last left for Australia, in December 2006, I was breathing a sigh of relief. I was happy to go – as always, since Sydney is a great place. But furthermore I was happy to get away from it all. I was leaving behind me a seemingly unresolvable situation. I was in love, and she knew it, and she didn’t envision any future for us. I was crushed, and I clearly remember being moved to tears while watching “Sleepless in Seattle” somewhere over the Timor Sea. The trip proved a good respite from all that, and I thoroughly enjoyed being able to leave it behind me for a while.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

Katrine is now my girlfriend and has been for seven months. So when I leave for Australia today, the emotions are somewhat similar, but also altogether different. This time, it’s not great to get away from her; it’s sad that I won’t see her again until July when she joins me down under. My tears are not for the fact that she doesn’t love me back; they’re for the fact that she does, and that we’re going to be apart for too long. I am filled with the sorrows of saying goodbye, but also with the joys of having found true love. I am looking forward not to returning to Europe in 2009, but to experiencing Australia together for an extended period of time.

I post this from Copenhagen Airport, while waiting to board my Thai Airways flight to Bangkok. This is it. I’m going. An old song comes to mind… an Australian one, incidentally:

Don’t ask me what you know is true
Don’t have to tell you, I love your precious heart

I was standing, you were there
Two worlds collided
And they could never tear us apart

We could live for a thousand years
If I hurt you, I’d make wine from your tears
I told you that we could fly
‘Cause we all have wings
But some of us don’t know why

I was standing, you were there
Two worlds collided
And they could never tear us apart

INXS: Never tear us apart

A Proposal

In a time with political promises and suggestions of almost every kind in Denmark, there is one that I believe I haven’t heard, so I will offer it here.

An unrestricted, government-funded 2-3 weeks of holiday should be offered to anyone getting married or initiating a relationship of any kind.

Here’s the deal: Being currently two weeks into a relationship with, arguably, the love of my life, I am finding that trivial undertakings such as working or studying matter surprisingly little. Eventually this may wear off, but for the time being, it is difficult to be worried about, well, anything. How do other people do this?

The Wedding Season is Over

Romance is abundant in summer. At least for other people. As has come to be standard procedure, I have experienced several weddings the past few months.

The main features this year were Maria + Mads (pictures) and Line + Niels (pictures). Congratulations to the happy couples.

Additionally, I have been paid to play for the reception at two instances, plus at church for yet another. Worthwhile endeavors, indeed.

But although it has been fun (and somewhat profitable), it is also with a sigh of relief that I can now declare the wedding season of 2007 over. It’s back to normal now.

All You Need Is Love?

The big talk of the day in Denmark is the news of Princess Alexandra’s upcoming marriage. She divorced Prince Joakim (brother of Crown Prince Frederik) two years ago, and will lose her title upon re-marriage, thus becoming Countess Alexandra.

The public reaction to the divorce was nothing like that of Britain’s when Charles and Diana broke up. Muted sympathy and understanding is the common feeling towards Danish royalty – even to-be ex-royalty. Such is the case today, as well.

Which is all fair and good, or what? In this case, it’s probably for the best. But I was struck by some of the quotes from random people in a newspaper vox-pop (my translations):

“Of course she gets a good apanage, but if he is the man she likes, she cannot act against that. Then you have to do what you have to do.”

“Yes, I understand her. If she loves him then of course they should have each other. … Love has to be the decisive factor in such situations.”

If this is the common perception of love, I’m not sure I agree. Even though I am very much influenced by my culture (i.e., Hollywood), a melancholic, and a true romantic at heart. But should “love” come before everything else? And, more specifically, should romantic love, eros, come at the expense of everything else?

Is finding the perfect partner the sole reason for living, the only goal in life? Should everything else be cast aside in the quest for that one special person (or that one special person for each decade, year, or month)? I used to think that was my goal, too. Perhaps I still do. But I do hope there’s something more to life – greater values, a greater calling.