All You Need Is Love?

Princess AlexandraThe big talk of the day in Denmark is the news of Princess Alexandra’s upcoming marriage. She divorced Prince Joakim (brother of Crown Prince Frederik) two years ago, and will lose her title upon re-marriage, thus becoming Countess Alexandra.

The public reaction to the divorce was nothing like that of Britain’s when Charles and Diana broke up. Muted sympathy and understanding is the common feeling towards Danish royalty – even to-be ex-royalty. Such is the case today, as well.

Which is all fair and good, or what? In this case, it’s probably for the best. But I was struck by some of the quotes from random people in a newspaper vox-pop (my translations):

“Of course she gets a good apanage, but if he is the man she likes, she cannot act against that. Then you have to do what you have to do.”

“Yes, I understand her. If she loves him then of course they should have each other. … Love has to be the decisive factor in such situations.”

If this is the common perception of love, I’m not sure I agree. Even though I am very much influenced by my culture (i.e., Hollywood), a melancholic, and a true romantic at heart. But should “love” come before everything else? And, more specifically, should romantic love, eros, come at the expense of everything else?

Is finding the perfect partner the sole reason for living, the only goal in life? Should everything else be cast aside in the quest for that one special person (or that one special person for each decade, year, or month)? I used to think that was my goal, too. Perhaps I still do. But I do hope there’s something more to life – greater values, a greater calling.


Author: Kenneth Mollerup Birch

Living north of Copenhagen, Denmark. MA in Information Science. Interests include communication, internet, sociology, language, politics, religion, theology, travel, music, and food.

5 thoughts on “All You Need Is Love?”

  1. Hey Kenneth.
    That´s a very interesting post.
    It seems like many people really do think that it´s more important to find “The One” before anything else. More important than to stay in the family with their husband/wife that they chose and their common kids.
    Or maybe this isn´t just about finding the one, maybe it´s about doing nothing else than what YOU and your own ego really want´s to be happy.

  2. Thank you for your comment, TM. I think you are correct in suggesting that finding “the One” may for many people be mostly a matter of ego. Somehow we’ve come to think that self-realisation = happiness. I don’t believe this is the case; the only way to make life really worth living is living it for others. The hard part, of course, is actually doing this.

  3. Another angle could be: Loving is living. A search for a love object can as well be a search for either of two: 1. somebody whoes life you can enrich (the total selfforgetting option) 2. somebody with whom you experience a common release of energy, inspiration, happiness and focus on good values which enrich the two people involved as well as reaches out to others.
    The latter is possible with any right minded partner. – And its a thrill… I promise!

  4. Thank you so much for your thoughts, Flemming. I believe you are really on to something. Self-denial is just as dangerous as blatant egoism – both are extremes that should be avoided.
    And yes, being partners can be (and should be) more than just sharing a dishwasher – add God to the equation, and 1+1=3. Then the greater calling(s) can be pursued with more energy than can be mustered alone, and you can both be a blessing to other people.

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