If you’re anything like me, you sometimes find yourself secretly wishing your problems would go away by themselves. Class-mate bullying you? Oh, please make his parents move to another town. Annoying colleague? Wouldn’t it be great if she got that promotion to another location? Uninspiring boss? At some point he is bound to leave the company, isn’t he?
This is what it’s like to be conflict-averse. For an outsider it can be hard to distinguish from patience or lenience. But inside your own head, there is a world of difference between the two. One is actually accepting people for the morons they are; the other is fuming inside without having the guts to confront them on their faults.
This is an extreme picture, of course. It’s not always that bad and often honest patience does go hand in hand with being conflict-averse.
But what interests me is that different people react differently. While many of you may recognize the first image, I suspect that harboring secret hopes for the random uprooting of irritants is not the main strategy for everyone. Instead, some people tackle their conflicts head-on and either diminishing the threat or conquer the aggressor.
It’s surely a matter of personality, then, that I choose mainly to talk to people in the hope that they are friendly (which they often are), and if they’re not, settle for the uncertain assurance that someday things may change.
The only problem is, new morons apparently stand ready to replace the old ones as soon as they’ve left the building. So what I really need is a more sustainable solution. That’s probably something that comes with age.
(And no, while based on personal experience, I’m not referring to anybody in particular here.)